The Censor Board has made some truly epic cuts to The Hateful Eight

When the Censor Board, well, censored a kissing scene in the latest James Bond film Spectre it provided much fodder for online bloggers, pro Twitterers and anyone who took the time to actually question the logic of it all. Many wondered what would happen when a really graphic picture, say, one by Quentin Tarantino reared its bloody head. Well, your wish has been fulfilled because a list of all the cuts ordered by the Board from Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight has found its way online.

Read: Hateful Eight review: Tarantino’s bloody mix of Sholay, Agatha Christie

The version playing in Indian theatres is the standard 167-minute-long one. There is another, longer version with an opening overture and a 12-minute interval that was screened in a few theatres equipped with 70mm projectors around the world. Of the 167 minutes, the list available indicates that 1.34 minutes have been slashed. But what’s more interesting is the nature of the censored material. That longish kiss from Spectre seems like a bro hug after you’ve seen some of this stuff.

Here’s the complete list

Let’s start simple. Of course words like bitch, m*****f****r, etc. have been muted ‘wherever they occur.’ But this is Tarantino we’re talking about so you know there’s going to be a bunch of N words thrown around, which, we can safely report have been left intact by our clueless Censor Board.

So let’s step this up a notch. There’s a scene around the half way mark in the film that involves Samuel L Jackson’s Major Marquis Warren telling a rather colourful tale that involves him – spoiler alert – receiving oral sex from another man. Words like Black Johnson, Black Dingus (misspelled jingus in the list) and Black Pecker are the victims in this round of slashing. That scene also involves a bunch of male frontal nudity, some of which is amazingly still intact.

Moving on, scenes of a Mexican man’s face being blown clean off, a woman getting blood puked on her, and another man’s hand getting chopped off have all been reduced by 50%. This may seem vague, but the list goes on.

The next omission is from the final scene of the film so if you want to preserve the experience read no further. But if you don’t care, be our guest. The final scene of the film involves Jennifer Jason Leigh’s character Daisy Domergue getting hanged by Jackson and Walton Goggins’ characters. A whopping 40 seconds of the sequence has been cut, especially close ups of Domergue’s choking face.

The Censor Board, being the guardians of all things right, has also added two minutes of anti-smoking disclaimers throughout the film. As if these warnings weren’t useless enough to begin with, imagine what good they would do in a movie that features all of the depravity we’ve been talking about.

The Hateful Eight is yet another victim of senseless censorship. It has been passed for exhibition with an adult certificate.

Follow @htshowbiz for more