Neha Dhupia: I have fallen in love with the same person again and again, but did okay

Neha Dhupia plays the role of a working mother in Jyoti Kapur Das’ directorial Good Morning for Amazon Mini Tv. Much like the title, the film revolves around a single day in the life of Anagha who deals with challenges at work and home, involving her kids. Hindustan Times recently had a quick chat with the actor ahead of the release.

The film sparks discussion about the thin line between parents guiding their kids and controlling their lives. Neha, who is vocal about juggling her acting profession while also being a mother to her children-Mehr and Guriq, feels, “I think there’s a line that really needs to be defined. Expectations should be narrowed down to the fact that you cannot have children because you want them to live your dream. They are supposed to have their own dreams and be able to live them.”

“When you are raising your children, giving them a great value system is extremely important and that’s something we are trying to do with Mehr. With, of course, one or two tantrums in a week for chocolate but that’s fine (laughs).”

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“Then we have our son Guriq. I hope he learns the same way. I may have to, because he is a boy, give a different set of values and a far more larger-than-life lesson than applying your mind and being all heart. As a woman, a mother who has seen so many different people in life, seen ups and downs, being able to define what's good and bad, you will make sure you give an advanced degree of that to your children. That’s what we want to do.”

“Academically, it’s upon us to send them to the best school of our ability. And, it's upon them to make the most of it. We have no aspiration but an ambition that we want to raise good children. I feel that’s how it should be. With no pressure whatsoever. It does matter how you have been raised or what generation you come from, or how you are scoring on SATs, it doesn’t matter.”

Neha said that she doesn’t like giving out unsolicited advice to parents because everyone is doing their best. However, she did deal with her fair share of advice. “I think the best part about having a second child is that nobody gives you advice. They dare not. Because by then they realise isko pata hain ye kya kar rahi hain.”

The only advice Neha would give is to mothers who suffer from mom guilt: “That is probably the only time I reach out and be like ‘ok you have to go and do this for yourself’. Although I am being a big gyaani here, I just took the morning flight to Jaipur here and I am just looking at the videos (of Mehr and Guriq). I feel like I can’t do this.”

“You gotta have your blinders on, it's great when you are working away from your children but the moment you get off, between work or getting on a plane or going to the gym, your heart wallops your brain off and there’s some weird chemical that release in the body; that’s according to me is the real mom guilty. It makes your heart reach your knee,” she explained what mothers tend to go through.

When asked about her stand on toxic parenting, she set the records straight, “If I think about what toxic parenting stands for, I don’t stand by it. I don’t see it happening around me because it's not happening that much. If it's happening, it’s not around me because I would reach out if I see something which I don’t agree with as a parent, even for my child. I will reach out in my own nicest possible way.”

Talking about giving second chances in love, Neha said it all comes down to the level of ‘toxic-ness’ she has to deal with. “Boohooing, DM-ing someone else, redefining infidelity goals--like look at me, why would I give you a second chance? She also quickly admitted about such past experiences and added, “Yeah, it happened when I was younger. The great thing about being young is you foolishly fall in love sometimes with people very fast or the same person again and again. I have been in both situations, and I think I did okay. At 38, I met Angad (Bedi). At 38, I got married and had my child.”