Saif and I are madly in love: Kareena Kapoor

With Bebo, there is a connection. I keep wondering what the Kapoor gal is up to. She's zero-size-this-zerosize-that. She's with Saif Ali Khan here, there, everywhere. She's one of the very few heroines whose name can sell a movie project. And she's one of the very few heroines who can carry off a conversation, without the usual oooh-that's-so-off-the-record. So here's Kareena Kapoor, in Melbourne, unedited, in conversation with Khalid Mohamed.

And how are we Beboo?
It's been Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne, it's been 25 days here. I won't be back in Bombay till August. Just imagine..

Imagine!
In between I go to the IIFA at Bangkok, I'm performing there.

IIFA and you? Isn't a certain family associated with these awards?
Family? Ya but so, Khaled, you know how professional I am.

It's Khalid. And I don't know how professional you are.
See, I'm performing Khaled. Jab We Met is one of the films of the year, it has been nominated. I've been invited. I've been paid a hefty sum.

Stop this hefty business. Would you do anything for money, girl?
What're you saying Khaaals? No way. It's because of Jab We Met, and this year I've been to all the award functions.

It's no national secret that the Bachchans refuse to do films with you.
If they choose not to do any films with me, I have also chosen not to do films with them. There have been offers which I didn't even consider.

My stand is if you're uncomfortable with me, fine. I'm no less uncomfortable with you.

Clap, clap. Tell me, what's with this zero-size figure of yours?
I've been hearing that now it's zero-point-fivecentimetre and stuff like that.

What's the latest scoop on your figure Beebz?
You're telling me. Why is my weight national news? Have I become the share market? The sensex? I'm being monitored, whether I've put on half a kilo or lost a quarter milligram.

See, I'd lost six kilos for Tashan.. the weight loss was showing on me. I changed my body type with yoga. It suited me then. I'm quite aware what to do and what not to do with my body .

Of late, I've gained some weight. So please let me be. Now, I'm 53 kilos which is perfect for my height.. 5' 5".

Yeah.. umm.. but you were looking quite scrawny earlier.
Yeah ya, I had become very thin. So, I've gained a kilo and a half. I'm into Thai food, desserts, Chinese, I'm not dieting any more.. darling. I'm eating and exercising, I'm a healthy Kapoor.

Still in Tashan you were looking quite toothy at times because of the weight loss.
Et tu, Khaled? See if the film had clicked, then everyone would have gone wow-wow-wow. It didn't so.. but let me tell you that there's no size zero. Everyone should eat right, exercise right.

My size is that of a normal girl's – six to eight. But I'm being equated with a size that's meant only for 12 to 14-year-olds. How can I be a schoolgirl all over again?

You had become anorexic, my dear.

Please, that's rubbish. I've never been anorexic. Can you imagine a girl like me fainting on the sets? Such stories are made up, really. I like my cakes, pastries, burgers. Yum.

Yum.

You should taste the Melbourne pastries.

(Suddenly very weight vigilante) Please! So do you gym as well as power yoga?

I don't gym any more. I'm into Ashthanga yoga.. which is done by Hollywood actresses too. It is done in heated circumstances.. no AC, no fans.. it leans up the muscles.

Eoow, I feel like a toothpick listening to all this. I think you were cuter with your puppy fat..

(Ominous silence)

Allright then, what's the status between Saif and you?

No change in status.. we're madly in love.

But then it's said that he's following you around like Mary's little lamb.

That's so unfair, really. I'm doing five films.. he believes in doing one at a time. So, we try to grab as much time as we can get together.

And marriage?

Marriage will happen for sure.. but after three years.

Do your parents approve?

Mum and Saif are always sms'ing each other. They get along famously. In fact, mum gets very irritated . when it's written that she has a problem with Saif. They're always on the phone, they love each other.

Uh, okay. Has Saif ever given her any present?

Not now, maybe later some day.

Has he given you any presents? You know cute, cute.

(Pin-drop silence)

C..u..t..e?

Yes Khaals. The trouble with all you guys is that you still want me to be a l'il girl. I'm a young woman now. The way I look depends on the film I'm doing, no?

In

Kambaqt Ishq

, again I'll be lean-lean, in short-short skirts.

Eowww. At this point, tell me what

Tashan

How can I answer that? I saw it.

And?

I liked Akshay Kumar.. and myself.. the bikini shot was quite cool.

Why a lime-green bikini, doll?

That's such an ancient colour. Mmm, I liked it Khaloo.. or should I say Khalida (ha ha ha)?

No

yaar

Okay, Khaled.. the bikini colour went well with my eyes.. they're green. And see

Tashan

is special because that's where I met Saif.

If there had been no

Tashan

Aaaaaaaah. I don't know.. maybe.

Chalo

That's so much rubbish again. Like that lovely rumour about my

nikaah

with Saif. The TV channels went on and on about this

nikaah

.

Mmmm, Khaled, he keeps showering me with presents.. the best was a holiday in Maldives.

No diamonds-shiamonds?
Woh bhi diya hai.. clothes.. small trips.. but the most expensive thing that he has given me.. is his time.

Wah! And what gifts have you given him?
Myself.

Wah! Are his parents okay with you?
Yaaa.. why do you ask Khaals.. of course they're okay. We've had meals together.

So, in three years you'll be Bebo Begum.
Ha, ha! Khaals, Tumhare moonh mein ghee shakkar, let's hope so.