Luv U Alia review: Alia Bhatt should sue its makers - Hindustan Times
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Luv U Alia review: Alia Bhatt should sue its makers

IANS | BySubhash K. Jha
Jun 17, 2016 07:14 PM IST

Whoever thought this spindly rom-com would actually work needs to be honoured for optimism.

Luv U Alia
Cast: Ravichandran, Bhumika Chawla, Chandan Kumar and Sangeetha Chauhan
Director: Indrajit Lankesh
Rating: 1/5

Luv U Alia was originally released in Kannada. (Twitter)
Luv U Alia was originally released in Kannada. (Twitter)

Released originally in Kannada in 2015 -- and you just have to see how original this concoction of gaudy construction is -- Luv U Alia now comes in a Hindi version to prove what film lovers already know. Bad commercial films in any language are equally bad.

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There are no redeeming qualities in this banal, cheerless, sloppy, clumsy and distinctly dumb rom-com about a shifty marriage counsellor Kiran (Chandan Kumar) who gets the hots for a girl named Alia (Sangeetha Chauhan) only to realise that her father Ravi (V Ravichandran) whom Kiran suspects of being a slimeball with a stethoscope, is actually an angel in a doctor’s coat.

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Whoever thought this spindly rom-com would actually work needs to be honoured for optimism.

The second half of the abominably sickening, over-sweetened and corny confection has Kiran winning over his future father-in-law by pretending to be a nurse, a female nurse, let me hasten to clarify. Ha ha. What follows is clunky comments on broken marriages conducted by a director who has serious problems escaping the multi-coloured toys of his childhood that seem to have chased his filmmaking aspirations into adulthood.

The film looks like a cross between a 8-year old child’s drawing-book image of a lavish lifestyle and a 20-something year old’s most outlandish porn fantasy.

Indrajit Lankesh is the director of Luv U Alia. (Twitter)
Indrajit Lankesh is the director of Luv U Alia. (Twitter)

One of the film’s highpoints is the hero in drag pretending to seduce his girlfriend’s father. If this strikes you as distastefully incestuous, then be warned. Good taste is not a strong quality in this colourful romp.

The sets and locations are as garish as Lego buildings constructed by a child who favours red green and purples.

If Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge fell on its head and suffered serious injuries, this film could be the end-result. The performances are beyond atrocious. Everyone has the licence to act goofily without fear of repercussions.

In the second-half, the long-missing Bhumika Chawla who once tolerated Salman Khan’s weird hairstyle in Tere Naam, shows up to tolerate the hero’s weird.everything!

This is no country for the discerning. Stay away.

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